 | I've told myself over and over to let go. Yet the dreams continue, the signs grow stronger, my love grows rather than diminishes, and day by day, I fall more into myself. I am filled with questions, self doubt, tired of reaching out and getting back only empty air. I see couples and wonder why it is that I cannot have my soul mate, why it is that I can't have her love anymore, I question how easily she replaced me all the while knowing that even though she's with someone else, she still loves me but won't let herself admit it. My pride was too strong in the past and I wonder if hers has grown above being the sensitive, loving individual she once was. What I see now is a woman out to prove a point, a woman afraid of being alone settling for the first thing that came along and I question how she could be so cold. After swearing undying love, wearing my ring for over a year, sharing a home, sharing her children, she drops me for one that she at one time couldn't stand. My lot in life has become one of solitude, I have had chances with other women but my heart won't let me care, won't even let me try. I am not weak as I was at the time the anxiety took me over, I am a stronger woman now, ready to love her the way she deserves to be loved. In dispair, my heart continues to break over the love that was meant to be but seemingly never will again. | |
